Yeesh, as I like to say when a teacher shares with me an inappropriate behavior. Not that I’m going to name names here, but I’ve had students with some very interesting behaviors over the years. Things that make you scratch your head and think, what were they thinking? I’ve had teachers report to me that my counseling students have exposed themselves, made sexual noises in class, throw scissors, urinate on the playground, and use swear words just to name a few.

Inappropriate behaviors should be addressed in counseling because they have many negative consequences for the student exhibiting them. They also negatively impact the students around them, who will DEFINATELY go home and report the behaviors that made them uncomfortable, anxious, or fearful to their parents. Then the teacher will, unfortunately, take the brunt of emails to follow. Sorry teachers.

Creating a Positive Learning Environment:

By helping students learn specifically about appropriate behaviors, we contribute to the creation of a safe and supportive atmosphere within schools. When students feel secure and respected, they are more likely to engage actively in learning, leading to improved outcomes and a better sense of community in the classroom.

Social and Emotional Development:

Assisting students in learning appropriate behaviors goes beyond just maintaining order; it plays a crucial role in their social and emotional development. Schools serve as microcosms of society, and by guiding students towards respectful and considerate behavior, we equip them with essential life skills. This not only positively influences their interactions within the school community but also lays the foundation for healthy relationships and responsible citizenship later in life.

Preventing Disruptions to Learning:

Addressing inappropriate behaviors early on is key to preventing disruptions to the learning in the classroom. When students understand the importance of respectful conduct, the likelihood of disruptions decreases, creating an environment where teachers can focus on effective instruction.

Here’s 5 Activities that can help your students to learn Appropriate vs. Inappropriate Behaviors. Just click on the pics to learn more about each one!

If All 5 look like activities that would help your counseling session focus on improving Inappropriate Behaviors, then the bundle will be your best bet because it saves you money when you buy all 5 together.

Additional Information on Tools for Addressing Behaviors:

If you are looking for additional Tools or activities for helping your counseling students with BEHAVIORS, please check out the article, 9 Social Stories That Can Help Students with Behaviors! or 5 Tools for Teaching Kids Expected vs. Unexpected Behaviors at School

If you would like to get FREE Counseling Activities to use with your students, sign up for the counselingfannypack.com mailing list TODAY for Freebies, Sales, and and school-based counseling tips and tricks!

Are YOU a counselor or psychologist who would like to have Tons of FREE Counseling Activities???

Now’s Your Chance! Check out this Video on the Professional Development that YOUR School or District can have that includes over 200 Games, Worksheets, Social Stories, and other Counseling Products from the Counseling Fanny Pack of Fun Store!

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The post 5 FUN Counseling Games to Help Reduce Inappropriate BEHAVIORS! appeared first on The Counseling Fanny Pack.

As a School Psychologist, 70%…I mean 90% of my counseling case load is students with BEHAVIORS!!! If you are a school counselor or psychologist, I’m guessing that your numbers are high as well. Sure, I have coping skills, social skills, and self-esteem counseling groups. But, the students that take up most of my time and that require a variety of “tools” are always the ones with behaviors. These include students with poor emotional regulation, impulse control, anger management, and aggression.

As a School Psychologist for the past 15 years, I have helped teachers work with students with a wide range of behavioral concerns. While each student requires a personalized approach for targeting their specific behaviors and needs, there are several “tools”, or types of counseling activities, that I use when counseling the majority of these students. Here is a quick summary of those tools and which types of students I may use them for.

If you’d like to learn more about why students have behaviors, please check out my post, 5 Reasons Why Students have BEHAVIORS in the Classroom!!!

Tools for Emotional Regulation

Emotion regulation is a term used to describe a person’s ability to effectively manage and respond
to an emotional experience. Students who have poor emotional regulation are often lacking in knowledge of strategies to use when they are experiencing a heightened emotion. They are often easily triggered and can spiral into behaviors that are disruptive, aggressive, and dangerous once their emotions are heightened by an experience.

This is particularly true if they have or perceive to have, a negative experience. I say, “perceive”, because a lot of the time it is their thoughts, not a negative experience that is the trigger for their emotions. This is good news actually because by teaching them that they have control of their thoughts, you can help decrease their behaviors.

Worksheets for the Size of Problems Tools

This topic has been the focus of much of my counseling lately. Because my students have so many emotionally explosive responses to daily events, I created a few worksheets, games, and found some great videos to target this issue. The focus of these activities is to help them understand that when they don’t get their way, aren’t called on, or if they make a mistake, they do not have to have a BIG emotional response.

Click HERE if you’d like to check out this worksheet and videos activity for helping students think about the Size of Problems.

GAMES are an AMAZING TOOL as well!

Another activity for helping students learn about “The Size of Problems” is the Size of Problems BINGO Game.

In this game, you go through a quick lesson about thinking about the Size of Problems, and then have the students fill out a BINGO card as you go through the slides that ask if different scenarios are “Small, Medium, or Large.”

JENGA Counseling Games For Emotional Regulation

These 2 Games for Emotional Regulation can be played with a JENGA. Just number 1-30 and help your student work on thinking about the SIZE of Problems and Anger Management Skills in their counseling sessions. This is an easy and fun activity. Another similar activity is Anger Management UNO. If you’d like to check it out in my store, click HERE.

For Anger Management UNO, play the game as you normally would, but as students put their cards down, read the corresponding question or prompt related to anger management, such as practicing breathing techniques, using positive self-statements, and thinking about making safer choices when feelings of frustration or anger occur,

Anger Thermometer and Calming Helper Tool

This Anger Thermometer anger management tool is great for students to use as both a communication tool and a tool that helps them learn recognize their emotional status when they are experiencing elevated levels of frustration or emotion. This Worksheet-tool includes link to a YouTube video on understanding the size of emotions and strategies to use when feeling elevated emotions. It also includes a desk-top mini tool for them to have on their desks to easily refer to at any moment in the day.

The Thermometer has levels with descriptive words and pictures that match the video to help students identify their own emotions and self-regulation.

Provide this Calming Helper Tool to help support students with using coping skills in the classroom. It can be printed for one-time use, or laminated and used repetitively (with dry-erase marker) by students who experience anxiety during their day. Use with videos on square breathing technique and other coping skill instructional content.

Videos are great TOOLS!

Speaking of videos. Using videos in your counseling sessions or classroom SEL can be a great tool for working with students with behaviors. Here are three of the videos that I show my students with behaviors. I have a more comprehensive and organized list in my curriculum for students with poor Anger Management. In the curriculum, I organize the videos by topic and combine most of them with worksheets and other activities for learning coping and calming skills.

Social Story Coloring Books

These social story coloring books are both a great teaching tool, and a great counseling activity for students. Each book can be personalized for the student to put their name, grade, and school into. When I use this tool with my students, I will put the book together and read it through once with them, then have them color the pages in it and then read it again. Then, I will give it to their teacher to read with them daily or as needed as a reminder about expected behavior in the classroom or on the playground. This is because children take lots of reminders and repetition of information to learn social skills and emotional regulation.

If you’d like to save some $$$ on these Social Story Coloring Books, click HERE to get them in a BUNDLE in my TpT store! You can also click on any product picture if you are looking for a specific story.

Behavior Rewards Systems are the Most Important BEHAVIOR TOOLS!

This “Try my Best” Behavior Rewards Chart system for students that have a variety of behaviors in the classroom, including task avoidance, emotional meltdowns, elopement, and aggressions.

To use, Laminate The Behavior Card, Happy Faces, and Activity Reward Choices. Cut out happy faces and rewards choices. Then use Velcro and attach choices and happy faces to the back of the card and the choice to the front.

As the student earns happy faces, place them in the (Velcro) squares until the card is complete and the student can ear the reward.

****Be sure to make the time intervals achievable and frequent, so that the student believes that he or s he will earn the reward within the day (or more if needed). ***

If you are looking for counseling tools organized into curriculums to help your child or students with BEHAVIORS, Please check out the easy to use curriculums for Anger Management and Coping Skills, full or video links, games, and worksheets!

How to Get Counseling Activities… for FREE!

If you are hoping to find not just inexpensive, but FREE Counseling Activities, then you are in the right place! Subscribe to CounselingFannyPack.com and gain access to the Free Resource Library! In it, you will get new counseling activities that are updated monthly for subscribers! Just Click HERE to sign up for access!

 If you are OK with spending $3-$5 on a few fun counseling activities for your students, please just click the pictures within this post and they will all link you to the product in my Counseling Fanny Pack of Fun store.

The post 8 Tools That Target Students with BEHAVIORS appeared first on The Counseling Fanny Pack.

Do you have students with behaviors???!!! The word, behavior, can include a number of things. From hiding under a desk, to shouting and throwing objects in your classroom. Determining the function, or reason, for a behavior is often the job of your School Psychologist, like my self. But, let me tell you a secret…It’s really not rocket science. It’s observations and a little knowledge of the reasons why a child might be exhibiting those behaviors.

Let me also start out by saying that children do not want to have these behaviors. It’s true. Your student who throws chairs does not do it because it makes him happy. Children only develop behaviors over time when they learn that they can get a need met when they exhibit them.

It’s just like when a baby cries when it is hungry. The baby probably cried and then was given its milk several times during it’s first few days before it learned that crying will result in what it needs…food. Behavior works the same way. The child needs something, and will exhibit behaviors until it learns which behavior will get his or her need met.

Here are 5 reasons (or needs) that can help explain why a child might be exhibiting behavioral challenges in your classroom:

1) They Have a Difficulty Communicating

There are a variety of types of communication deficits that children may have. When communication deficits are significantly delayed, the child is often diagnosed with Autism. But communication deficits can have a wide range of levels of severity. Often the more delayed the communication ability, the more likely a child will demonstrate behaviors in order to communicate his or her thoughts or needs.

I’ve found that hitting and other aggressive behaviors are a learned response for children that cannot communicate with vocabulary that they are in pain, afraid, worried, unhappy, or do not want to do something. These children have learned that if they yell, scream, hit, etc., they will often get out of the task, activity, or social situation that they do not want to do.

For these children, improving their ability to communicate, even if by picture cards, their behaviors will decrease over time. The secret to improving their behaviors is to reward the student (stickers, token chart, etc.) when they “use their words” (or picture card) to express themselves. For students with significant communication delays, providing Speech and Language services is also a must. These services are part of what will support them will learning vocabulary and other communication skills.

2) They Have an Unidentified Disability

This is a wide net of reasoning behind behaviors. However, students with unidentified disability tend to have behavioral concerns. These types of students may include with significant hyperactivity that have trouble staying seating, attending to instruction, or starting assignments. They may also include students with learning difficulties, who are always talking or start distracting others when its time for Math.

When a student has a disability, they are often exhibiting behaviors for one of two reasons. The first reason is to avoid tasks that are difficult and may be deflating their self-esteem. The other is to

. For example, students with ADHD may need movement breaks, seating away from visual distractions, or specialized seating, such as a T-stool, wiggle seat, or standing desk. Students with Autism may need sensory items, a weighted vest, or communication device.

3) The Academic Work is Too High

This may apply to a student with a disability or a student who is just behind academically in one or more area. Students are more behind these days, post COVID. I’ve talked to many of my teachers who are frustrated with how “low” their students are.

I’ve also had to work extensively with a teacher who previously taught Special Education Students in 1st through 3rd grade and is now teaching an SDC TK and Kinder class. This teacher kept complaining of how many of her students have “behaviors” in her classroom (yelling, throwing things, eloping, etc.). When I came to observe, however, she was having her students hold pencils, Copy SENTENCES, and sit at tables for up to 30 minutes! These tasks were neither academically age-level appropriate or developmentally appropriate for her students, which was leading to her own emotional difficulties as her students were increasing their behaviors in rebellion.

When evaluating reasons why students have behaviors, consider whether the tasks, instruction, and even the structure of your schedule are developmentally appropriate for your student or students. If this may be the root cause of behaviors, then you may need to adjust to meet your students where they are at.

4) They have Poor Self-Regulation

These students may have either difficulty regulating their impulsivity or their emotions. Students with poor impulse control may be disruptive constantly with their voice, bodies, or all of thee above. Just last week I can to get a student for counseling and he was literally jumping on the tables in the classroom when I walked in. This student is also continually touching others, yelling, and talking back to his teacher. This student has poor self-regulation.

Other students may have poor emotional-regulation. This may be related to low self-esteem, home or personal factors, or related to their Autism disability. For students with poor emotional regulation, this may look like poor anger control, over-reactions to typical situations, crying, eloping from the classroom, or physical violence.

Both of these types of students benefit from providing counseling services, whether at school or outside of school. They need instruction on how to use calming strategies, coping strategies, positive self-talk, empathy, social skills… and the list goes on. These students also can benefit from implementing personalized behavior and/or rewards charts. In addition, I will often provide them with a social story or classroom tool for helping them to regulate their emotions.

Here are some of the tools and social stories that I use below and are available in my store on Teachers pay Teachers. Click on the tool for the link to purchase if they sound like they would be helpful for you or your student.

5) They have a Need for Attention

These students are exhibiting behaviors that scream, “Look at me!” There are a few reasons why children engage in Attention-seeking behaviors. One may be a lack of attention at home. This may happen if the parents work a lot, are going through a divorce, or their is another cause for instability in the home environment.

Another reasons for attention-seeking behaviors is a lack of social skills. These students are constantly engaged in peer attention seeking behaviors, such as touching peers, acting silly or inappropriate, or calling peers names. While these behaviors invoke negative attention from peers most likely, it is the only way that the child may know how to get their peers’ attention at all. These students benefit from being provided Social Emotional Learning (SEL) or even Small Group counseling that focuses on building Social Skills. If this sounds like your student or students, then providing SEL for your classroom may be in order. Other options are a “lunch bunch”, game club, or counseling with your school counselor or psychologist.

If you are looking for games and other activities to help build social skills for your student or students, click on the products below that might help you out!

You Can Get Counseling Activities Today… for FREE!

If you are hoping to find not just inexpensive, but FREE Counseling Activities, then you are in the right place!

Subscribe to CounselingFannyPack.com and gain access to the Free Resource Library! In it, you will get new counseling activities that are updated monthly for subscribers! Just Click HERE to sign up for access!

 If you are OK with spending $3-$5 on a few fun counseling activities for your students, please just click the pictures within this post and they will all link you to the product in my Counseling Fanny Pack of Fun store.

If you have been looking for Social Emotional Learning Curriculum and Activities for your ENTIRE CLASSROOM, please check out my Videos for my SEL Activity Books Curriculum for grades TK- 2 and 3-5!!!

The post 5 Reasons Why Students have BEHAVIORS in the Classroom!!! appeared first on The Counseling Fanny Pack.

Are looking to help your student with behaviors in the classroom or on the playground? Students with behaviors that impact their learning, their social functioning, or your teaching can be stressful for all. Behaviors, such as aggression, elopement, emotional outbursts, and task avoidance can take up instructional time and create a negative learning environment for the entire classroom.

For some students, classroom positive reinforcement systems, such as clip chart, tokens, or fake money, may not be enough. In these instances, a more personalized rewards system is often necessary.

While rewarding students with “bad” behavior may not feel fair to the rest of the students who do not have behaviors, using individualized behavior rewards systems are often the only tool that will improve the student’s behaviors. That, and counseling services.

In addition, students with behaviors already stand out to their peers and that kids will understand if they have a special system because they are also tired of “Little Jimmy” disrupting their classwork or hurting them. (My apologies if your name is Jimmy:) Students who do not understand, often also need a little support in my experience.

The purpose of the rewards system is to build an intrinsic desire to display desired behaviors through training with extrinsic motivation.

As a school psychologist I am often creating these individualized systems for teachers who have students with a specific behavior that is impeding their learning on a frequent basis. I am happy to do it, as I know they will work. As the teacher, however, you will need to be willing to implement the rewards system frequently. This will take your time if you are the teacher and do not have additional aide support.

How to determine Frequency of Reward Implementation

The frequency to which you will need to reward the student with a stamp, sticker, or other positive reinforcement indicator is very dependent on the frequency and intensity of the student’s behavior. Determining the frequency should also be based on what you believe the student can achieve. For example, if you have a student who tantrums (crying and maybe throwing objects) every 15 minutes throughout the school day, then making the initial frequency for 20 minutes might be fine. If the student tantrums just in the mornings, but every 5 minutes (or continually), then a morning chart for 5 minute intervals may be needed.

Other Important Aspects of Behavioral System Implementation

Sometimes students are not very motivated by extra recess time, a prize box toy, or a Lego break. Other times, they might work for one activity one week, but lose interest in it by the next. If a student has significantly disruptive or aggressive behaviors, you will hopefully find something that can motivate them to use calming strategies and attempt their work. By giving them options to work for throughout the day that they chose, you can hopefully get them through the school day without incident.

Other times, however, you may want to consider including home rewards. What? Parents with students with bad behaviors have to participate in their behavior at school. That’s a BIG YES! Maybe there is a toy that they want, a video game, or just TV or Video time that would motivate them at school.

Of course, the parent will need some serious discussions with you prior to starting the chart in order to agree to not give them their home reward if their child didn’t earn it. It’s called good parenting, but we can’t always control our parents. In my experience, the students with the worst behavior usually “rule the roost”, as my teacher friend, Melissa, likes to say.

Steps to Creating a Behavior Rewards Plan:

Step 1) Observe the Student:

If you are not the direct teacher of the student, such as the school psychologist, you will need to observe the student and consult with the teacher.

Questions to ask that will help you create the plan include:

What do the behaviors look like?

How often do they occur?

What is the specific desired replacement behavior?

What reinforcements will the student most likely work for?

Step 2) Create the Reinforcement System Based on your Collected Data and/or Teacher Interview:

For the chart, you will need to make a basic table that has intervals for rewarding indicated with a time interval (5, 10, 15, 30 minutes, etc.) or actual times, such as 9am, 9:30am, 10am, etc. Next, write the directions and use visuals with words, so that the student can easily understand the expected, or desired, behavior and rewards. This is especially important for students who are not yet reading.

Make the reward process easy, such as a check mark, sticker, stamp, or Velcro happy face. In addition, encourage the teacher or person implementing the system to give specific verbal praise for the desired behavior when giving the reinforcement.

This may include statements, such as, “I like the way you are doing your work” or “Good job keeping your hands to yourself at recess.” Verbal praise is a key part to building the intrinsic desire to improve behaviors. This is because it feels better to get adult attention for positive behaviors than for negative ones. This is what we are attempting to teach the child through the implementation of the rewards system, after all!

Step 3) Completely explain the system to both the teacher and student.

If you are not the teacher creating the system, you will need to make sure that the teacher understands it and is willing to implement it. Many teachers feel at first that individualized rewards systems take too much time. But please ask them, “Would you prefer to take the 30 seconds to give a sticker and verbal praise every 10 minutes, or the 30 minutes to evacuate the classroom while the student has a meltdown in your room?”

Then talk to the student. Let them know about their new special chart and their opportunity to earn prizes, breaks, or other positive reinforcements of their choosing. Finally, you will have to implement the chart with the student yourself to start. This will both train the teacher (if it’s not you) and/or the students aide if there is one. While some aides are trained in Applied Behavior Analysis, many do not have their own tools or charts, and are happy to implement one made for them.

Here is an example of a that I have used and is available for purchase in my Teachers pay Teachers store, Counseling Fanny Pack of Fun.

Here is a Free Download of a rewards system that you can use:

Also Available in my TpT Store:

The post Learn How and When to Make an Effective Behavior Rewards Systems appeared first on The Counseling Fanny Pack.

Are you looking for some activities to address behavior and social skills for your child, student, or entire class?

Whether you are a parent, teacher, or counselor, you likely want to support your child or students with activities to address any gaps in social skills or behavior through engaging activities that will actually work. Just telling kids to “respect your teacher” is really not going to be enough for many kids. Children with behavioral concerns that include defiance, aggression, and poor social skills particularly will benefit from learning about giving others respect (for teachers & peers) and manners. They need instruction and practice, however, in order to know what to do.

Much like learning academic subjects, children require a multi-modal approach to learning most social, emotional, and behavioral topics. Because they are kids, they also need it to feel fun. Social-Emotional Learning topics need to not feel like punishment when learning them. If presented in a fun and interactive way, they will be able to learn about these topics with a much more open mind and attitude. This will, hopefully, help them to improve their ability to implement what they have learned in the classroom or playground.

Types of Activities to Address Manners and Respect

1) Videos!

In my counseling practice as a school psychologist, there are a few different types of activities that I will use to address teaching students Manners and Respect. The first is Videos. This is because videos can be fun, easy, age-appropriate, and targeted when you are able to find the right one. Videos are also a good tool because they can be used individually or with a group as large as an entire classroom.

Here are some of the videos that I regularly use with students to help them learn about Manners and Respect:

2) Games

I have a few games that I use when teaching students Manners and/or Respect. Games are very interactive, but really provide amazing practice and can facilitate discussions about behavior when played with a counselor, parent, or teacher. Most of my students look forward to coming to their counseling sessions because they enjoy playing the different counseling games with their peers.

General Tips for Playing Counseling Games

When doing a game activity, it is best to have 2- 5 players. That way, there are more opportunities for peer modeling and discussion than when playing games indivually. Kids learn social skills best from other kids, right? When playing games, use questions and prompts to facilitate discussions of past behaviors or incidents that you are aware of. This is where your training as a counselor will come in. Discussion, practice of skills, and modeling is really the key to success with any social-emotional learning.

Here are a few games that I made and use with my own counseling students that address Manners and Respect:

(Click on Picture for link to products or HERE for link to see all Games in my store!)

3) Worksheets

Worksheets can be a good tool if they are appropriate for the developmental level of the student. For example, I use worksheets with mostly coloring or drawing for Kindergarten through 3rd graders. For example, in one of the worksheets below, I will have students color the different examples of giving others respect. In another worksheet related to learning calming strategies, I will have the students draw a self-portrait of themselves using a calming strategy.

Here are some examples of worksheets that I use for younger students. (Click on pictures for link to purchase for your counseling):

For students that are older, I am able to do worksheet activities that might require some writing for 3rd through 8th graders. In the examples below, the students are asked to complete the sentences about how to give different people in their lives respect. When doing worksheets for counseling, don’t forget to use the worksheet prompts to engage in meaningful discussion, as conversation is at the heart of all good counseling that will lead to positive changes.

Just a side note… As a school psychologist I am mostly working with students with academic deficits. These students often have lower writing skills than typical general education students or behaviors associated with writing. Therefore, I keep my worksheet activities that require writing to a minimum. If I feel that the worksheet will be helpful for facilitating discussion, however, I might do the physical writing for them to avoid resistance or behaviors.

Here are a few worksheets that I might use for older students:

4) Social Stories and Books

Social Stories can be a good targeted way to address a specific area of difficulty for individual students. Areas related to manners and respect may include stories about giving others personal space, playing on the playground, listening to the teacher, waiting you turn, or sharing. These topics are all related to learning manners, expected behaviors at school, and giving others respect.

Social stories are short stories that are a learning tool about a specific social skill or topic. The stories that I make for helping student learn about a topic by discussing that the behavior does not mean that they are “bad”, but that they can make better choice. In most of my stories I will indicate how their behavior impacts others to help build empathy. Finally, the stories give one or more strategies for changing their behavior.

One of the secrets to making an effective story is using it frequently. One read will probably not do the trick. Reviewing the story daily, such as in the morning, before a child has unstructured play, or even at home before bed, will better implant the information into the child’s memory. Last school year I had a TK student that would have an emotional melt down every morning when he arrived at school. In this instance, I read the story with his the first time, and then ask his mother to read it to him every night. After two weeks, two long weeks, the behavior subsided and he was able to attend school without issue.

Here are a few of the social stories that I have made and sell for under $3.50 in my Teachers pay Teachers store:

Whatever tools you decide to use to address helping students learn about manners and respect, you are on the right track to helping build your students’ or child’s social skills. Every little bit of instruction and support will make a difference in behavior and with building social skills that will support learning and relationships. If you are looking for more tools and resources to support other areas of Social-Emotional Learning, please check out my Teachers pay Teachers store! There are tons of individual activities as well as Activity Books that have tons of Games and Worksheets for the entire school year of Tier 1,2, and 3 Counseling and Social-Emotional Learning!

If you’d like to check out any of the games featured in this article…

Please just click on the picture and it will take you to the product in my Teachers pay Teachers store.

If you’d like to check out other topics in my store, please click on the topic below to see what I might have for you and your students. Happy Counseling!

BEHAVIOR TOOLS

SOCIAL SKILLS

COPING SKILLS

EMPATHY

SELF-ESTEEM

The post Fun Tier 1, 2, & 3 Activities for Teaching Manners and Respect at School appeared first on The Counseling Fanny Pack.

Are you a parent, teacher, school psychologist, or school counselor supporting a student with behavioral concerns? I’m being nice by saying, “concerns”, as the behaviors that I am referring to can be very dangerous and disruptive to the classroom. Behaviors at school, such as aggression, elopement, and defiance can really impact not only the student involved, but all of the students within a classroom to some degree.

This is because a student who is hitting, throwing objects, and disrupting instructional time can create a stressful classroom environment, as it impacts everyone’s emotions, including the emotions of parents and the teacher, of course.

Quick share on my own experience as a parent…

When my daughter was in Kindergarten, she had two students who were highly aggressive and defiant in her classroom. She and other kids would come home with injuries from being pushed down, hit, and kicked on a regular basis. The students who were demonstrating these behaviors were definitely giving their peers anxiety about being injured on a daily basis. This can become a real problem if not addressed through classroom SEL (Social-Emotional Learning) and/or individual or group counseling.

As a school psychologist, I have the tools to support my own child with teaching her strategies to reduce stress and avoid conflicts with these students. However, the other parents and the teacher were highly stressed for their children and students. A few parents even went to the principal to try to get the students moved from the classroom in a group uproar. If you can guess, it did not happen. Instead, the students were eventually evaluated for special education and then given counseling and one-to-one aides.

My experience as a school psychologist has taught me…

Significant behaviors are often an underlying symptom of a bigger issue, such as ADHD, current/past trauma, or Autism, they need to be addressed as soon as possible. In other words, you don’t wait for a diagnosis or IEP to address the issue. I promise that providing behavior interventions does not have to be a big mystery or rocket science. The sooner behaviors are addressed, the sooner it will improve. This is the goal, right?

I can also tell you from my years of counseling that children who are exhibiting behaviors do not want to hurt others. They just want their emotional or communication needs met. The problem is that these children do not have the tools to meet those needs. The tools that I am referring to include a number of things, such as strategies for emotional regulation and knowledge of emotions, manners, empathy, and understanding of what the “Expected vs. Unexpected” behaviors are for school.

Teaching Expected vs. Unexpected Behaviors

Children are not psychics about when it comes to expected behaviors. As adults, we cannot assume that “they should know.” While telling kids the rules may be enough for some children, it is not enough for students with significant behaviors. They need to learn in multiple ways which behaviors are good, or “expected” and which are not, or “unexpected”.

To do this, you should use a multimodal approach or visual aides, such as picture & written rules on the wall, SEL videos, and games or activities that allow for role play, discussion, and practice of skills. Yes. Children need multimodal instruction for social, emotional, and behavioral learning, just like reading and math!

Here are some tools, games, and activities that you can use with students in order to teach Expected behaviors.

Expected vs. Unexpected Worksheet -with cut out pics-Grades K-5

Teaching Manners

Manners are more than just saying “please” and “thank you.” Teaching kids manners is similar to teaching them expected behaviors. It’s about learning what is the correct way to interact with others in their environment. It’s important when teaching manners to stress that good manners will lead to positive outcomes, such as making friends, feeling happy, and making their parents and teacher proud. In this video above, you can teach kids about manners through an easy game. For more ideas on activities for teaching manners, click HERE.

Teaching Emotions

Children will have trouble controlling their emotions if they cannot name and identify what they are feeling at any given time. Knowing when you are feeling sad, frustrated, or angry is the first step towards using a strategy to manage those big emotions.

In addition, understanding what emotions look and feel like in themselves can also help kids to improve their ability to have empathy for others. This will take time, but that is why counseling is a process, and not a quick fix unfortunately.

Here are some tools to help kids learn, identify, and start to manage their emotions:

Teaching Empathy

Ahh Empathy. I teach empathy to a lot of my counseling students and have made many games, videos, and worksheets to support this learning. It is important to teach kids about empathy because it can help them to be less self-focused on their needs. It also helps them to reduce behaviors by teaching them to think about how others’ feel and how they would feel in a similar situation. I use empathy lessons a lot with aggressive students, so that they can better think about how their friends, teacher, and classmates are just like them.

Fun and easy activities that you can also use for teaching kids EMPATHY:

Teaching Emotional Regulation Skills

This is the main event! The main focus for many of your SEL or Counseling lessons for students with behaviors should be on how to regulate emotions, use tools and strategies to calm down, and communicate their needs positively. This means teaching them to “use their words”, such as “can you help me please” when frustrated. It also means figuring out with your student when calming strategies work best for them.

Sorry, but not all kids will enjoy or want to do breathing exercises. Some may need a walk, while others kids will prefer to color, read, or blow bubbles. It depends on the child, their developmental age, their preferences, and their cognitive ability.

When working with students with behaviors and poor emotional regulation, I like to use a variety of tools that they can use in the classroom. These tools may include a social story, motivational quote, anger thermometer, or list (with pictures) of calming strategies. Having a physical tool available gives them an easy and visual reminder of what to do when they are aware of their own emotional distress. It may give them strategies that they can then let their teacher know they need to use. Wouldn’t that be great if they colored a picture for 5 minutes instead of throwing their book at someone? My vote is YES!

Here are some activities and tools that you can use with your students to improve Emotional Regulation:

If you would like a HUGE discount on these activities and more…

Please check out my Counseling Activities Books for School Psychologists and Counselors! They are full of games, worksheets, forms, and other activities for counseling Elementary and Middle School students.

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Manners are an important part of good social skills. In my own home, I teach my children to use good manners subconsciously, as I correct them when they forget to say “please”, give them consequences when they take something from their sibling without asking, and will prompt them to say “thank you” when adults give them a gift.

Just trying to raise my own humans to be people that others want to play with and work with one day. But, not all children have a school psychologist mother. Many children live in homes where parents are busy, working long hours, or do not have parents that are quite as aware of the importance of good manners.

It is definitely important for students to learn and practice manners in the classroom, particularly if they are not getting the information or prompting at home. Things like greeting their teacher in the mornings, refraining from rude comments, sharing with peers, and helping others are skills that can be learned at school. However, sometimes these manners need to be explicitly taught, not just assumed that children will “know” how to behave and show good manners during their school day.

To help with teaching “Good Manners” as part of either my small group counseling for students working on social skills, or my classroom SEL presentations, I have come up with a few activities that can help teach children about manners in some fun and interactive ways.

1) The Kindness Quiz

I will sometimes start out my Social Skills groups with this activity. It’s a “Kindness Quiz” that is intended to have students rate themselves on their own kindness. While the intention appears to children to be to take the quiz and learn about how “Kind” of a person they are, it’s true intention is to help teach children about kindness and manners through the questions and response options. Most children actually rate themselves much higher than they truly are because they want to appear “good.” However, by putting information in the form of a self-rating “quiz”, students learn what behaviors are considered good and may think about their own behaviors that may not have been “good manners.” I’m a sneaky lil’ school psych, muahaha. 

2. “Mrs. Manners Says” Presentation/Game and YouTube Video

For an easy and fun activity, I created a game using PowerPoint called “Mrs. Manners Says.” It starts out with a quick review with examples of Good vs. Bad manners. Then the game begins. It is essentially like Simon Says, but all that the students have to do is give a “Thumbs Up” or “Thumbs Down” if what Mrs. Manners says to do is a “good” or “bad” manner.

I will play this game in-person for my Small Group Counseling and SDC Whole Class SEL support, but I also have recorded myself giving the presentation and have posted it on YouTube, so that I can just send the link to teachers to show if they want something for their whole Gen Ed class. Hey! I’m a busy school psychologist! 

For my counseling groups, I created a fun game to practice and check their knowledge of manners. It’s easy to play, but I just printed it in color and laminated it. This way I don’t have to keep printing it out when I want to use it. I also have to borrow a die and game pieces. My students really have liked this game because it makes learning something that they might not think of as fun, like “manners”, into a fun little game. 

3. Friendship workshop

I made a 2 part- Friendship workshop called “Making and Keeping Friends” for classroom SEL a few years back. I maybe gave it a handful of times, but in it is my “Kindness Quiz”, discussion on picking friends, “Ingredients” that make someone a good friend, resolving conflicts, and being a good friend to others skills. There are also a few short classroom activities to keep kids engaged.

4. During Counseling Sessions … Correcting and Modeling Students for Turn Taking, Rude Comments, Greetings, Saying “Thank You”, etc.)

Last, but not least, is prompting, correcting, and modeling good manners during your counseling sessions. This means, correcting your students when they enter counseling without making a greeting to you or their peers, calling out kids on rude comments or not waiting their turn, and practicing good manners, such as saying “please”, “thank you”, and giving peers compliments or encouraging words. It also means frontloading them with how to show good sportsmanship when playing game activities in counseling.

This is often the main area that my students will struggle with, as one might like to announce every time that he is winning or losing a game, and another may always get angry when he or she loses at a game. I like to frontload these students before the game begins with how to be a good sport, and then sometimes make them lose, so that they can practice being put in that situation within the controlled counseling session. Like I said, I’m a sneaky school psychologist, muahaha. 

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